The Big Sleep

To all moms out there: What is the most coveted thing when you have a baby? What do you need to make you sane, to give you the energy to deal with your little one? What would you give an arm or leg for? We all have the same answer. SLEEP! Something so important for moms everywhere, but seems to elude so many.

How do I get my baby to sleep through the night so that I can sleep through the night? If I only had the answer...

We have some ideas that might help you along your way. As mothers, we understand the importance of a good night's sleep. Melissa has a six month old, and Jana has an eight month old and a four year old. We have been through the ringer, and made it out on the other side rested. We hope this will give you the gift of a good night's sleep.

Sleep is one of your child's basic needs. You offer healthy food to your child when she's hungry. You must also offer healthy sleep when your child is tired - even if she doesn't know it. Many studies link lack of sleep to intelligence, learning difficulties and school performance. One study showed that the more irregular and the sleep patterns,, the slower her rate of learning. Another showed that infants who take long naps have longer attention spans. They spend more time in the quiet state and seem to learn faster.

It takes time for your child to develop strength, coordination, balance and confidence to learn to walk. It will take time for your baby to develop night sleep consolidation, regular and long naps, and self-soothe skills to learn to sleep well. Be consistent and be patient.

Why do babies wake up in the night? Melatonin, a hormone produced by the brain that tells the baby she's drowsy, is not present until 2 to 4 months old. After that age, all children can learn to sleep well. Parenting practices influence sleep duration and, consequently, behavior. After about 4 months of age, the main reason babies wake up is because they need to eat. The goal is to eliminate the need to eat in the middle of the night.

There are many books out there to guide you. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. is

great for explaining the importance of sleep. We really like 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks by Suzy Giordano for introducing a schedule. According to the book, starting at about 8 weeks, babies have the ability to sleep through the night if they consume all the calories they need for that 24 hour period.

If your baby needs 24 ounces in 24 hours, start an eating schedule so all ounces are consumed during the daytime hours. Divide the 24 ounces into four daily feedings that occur every four hours. The first feeding of 6 ounces could start at 7am, with the next three feedings at 11am, 3pm and 7pm. Each feeding should be 6 ounces. It really is that simple.

At first, your baby may not understand that each feeding needs to be 6 ounces, and may not eat that much. If you wait 3 to 3 ½ hours before the next feeding, your baby will eventually learn her feeding times and eat during those times.

Once your baby is accustomed to waiting four hours in between feedings, she will be hungrier and more apt to eat the full six ounces at each daily feeding, and nighttime feedings will dwindle to 1 or 2 ounces. Eventually, nighttime feedings won't be necessary.

When your baby no longer needs to eat at night, try to let him get through the night on his own. At first, if your baby is crying hard you may need to soothe him by putting your hand on him and make shushing sounds to let him know you are there. If your baby is really upset, hold him a few minutes before quietly putting him down, especially if the baby is still under 4 months old. If he is over 4 months, most doctors suggest letting the baby cry until he calms himself down. If your baby isn't really crying, let him work it out. The skill to self soothe is a wonderful gift your baby will carry with him all his life.

We know it's hard to hear your baby crying. Your own plan may vary. Do what feels natural, but remember, your baby is learning quickly, and patterns are being formed.

Not every night will be a night of pure bliss. And, not every baby can follow every book's schedule. Pick a schedule that works for you, stick with it, and with a little hard work, you too can have a sleeping family.